BURNIE HATES BUYING HOUSES?

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This week the gang talks about Funhaus and other online content as a substitute for social interaction as well as:
31:45 - Sega possibly recycling their old IPs
48:45 - Amazon now
52:30 - Another exciting episode of Hard Nettin'

Original Reddit 'Friend Simulator' Post:


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SOURCES:
[RiceDigital] Shenmue HD Remaster Coming in 2017:
[Gematsu] Sega Planning revival of major IPs:

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Open Haus is sponsored by Blue Apron! Go to and get your first 3 meals free with free shipping.

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In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun, and - SNAP - the job's a game!
But Mary Poppins, we don't want to go pick up hash from your bloody dealer again!
Spit-spot, children!

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I wouldn't mind being one of those Official Bikini Inspectors. I see those shirts everywhere and those guys seem pretty happy. That's not a real job? Great. Next you'll tell me that all those Freelance Gynecologists are faking it too.

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Today the gang talks about Overwatch's first birthday and the controversy around the accessibility to loot as well as:
29:00 - New streaming services and chat room etiquette
45:00 - The return of Seaman!
51:45 - The upcoming Castlevania cartoon
54:10 - A beefy new episode of Hard Nettin'

SOURCES:
[Forbes] There Are Not Enough Hours In The Day To Grind For 'Overwatch' Anniversary Skins:
[Mixer]
[Twitch] Moar Cheermotes, out now!
[Twitter] Yoot Saito:
[YouTube] Castlevania Teaser:

HARD NETTIN: Game Girl Power -

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This episode of Open Haus is brought to you by Vincero Collective! Go to to get 15% off your very own Vincero watch!

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This Fourth of July, we here at Funhaus would like to honor our brave men in women in uniform by mocking one of them for both his past service to our country and his chronic, life-threatening illness.
... from sea to shiiiiining seeaaaa!

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Someone’s gonna get sued! The gang heads into space to save us all from some sort of galactic threat but mostly just to yell at each other.

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So there have been a few discussions on our subreddit recently (reddit.com/r/funhaus) about how the entire subreddit is basically devolving into just fan art.

First of all: SO WHAT? FAN ART IS AWESOME AND WE LOVE IT.

Second: c'mon dudes and dudettes! You guys can start whatever conversations you want there. We're not picky. Wanna talk about what Spoole's butt looks like? Start a thread! Wanna discuss Peake's anger issues? Go nuts! Wanna ask James about his total support and love for The Last of Us? Do it already!

If your thread is good, it'll get upvoted. If it sucks, we'll make fun of it on the Comments Show.

But don't call out the subreddit because there's too much Fan Art on it. Because there's no such thing as too much fan art.

Word 2 your mother

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Steven is the kind of guy who would offer to pay to watch you pleasure yourself behind a dumpster, then haggle with you over the price after you've finished. I would imagine. I barely know the guy.
But seriously, 12 dollars? That's just insulting.

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That reminds me. I need to get back to work on the script for my sequel to White House Down. It's called Whiter House Down 2: White House Downer: The Re-Downening. It's mostly just ninety minutes of Channing Tatum in a dirty tank top dancing to save a rec center or woo a single mom with a secret or something, then Jamie Foxx jumps the Grand Canyon in a car but the car's also a robot. I might give the robot AIDS. Haven't decided yet.

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I mean, what is stalking anyway, right? Some people collect shot glasses or decorative plates, I collect my ex-girlfriend's discarded cosmetics and shampoo bottles so that my apartment always smells like her. Who's to judge?

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If you want my Funhaus, watch every week
If you wanna get with Bruce, better go through Peake
Now come and join with YouTube's best manboy tribe
Get your act together: comment, like, subscribe

I'll tell you what I haus, what I open, open haus
So tell me what you haus, what you open, open haus
I wanna, (haus) I wanna, (haus) I wanna, (haus) I wanna, (haus)
I wanna really, really, really wanna clickaclick snap

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​The great outdoors. Mother Nature's playground. Take it in, stretch it out, breath in that fresh air, and scout out that back nine, cuz we're going golfing!
...Oh wait its mini golf? ...In VR? ...And who's playing?
Yea so, I guess just sit back and enjoy as a bunch of idiots bumble through the beautiful game that is Miniature Golf.

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Open Haus is sponsored by Mack Weldon. Go to and get 20% off using promo code “openhaus”.

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The most famous person I've ever peed next to was the guy who played Rocky in my community college's production of The Rocky Horror Show. He said Hi to me and I got nervous and walked away without going.
Yes. I've lived quite a life.

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My lover and I don't tend to get too fancy in the bedroom. We usually just stick to the typical Lights out, half-clothed, two holes in two sheets, silent, inverted Barnswallow with subsequent whimpering under the drip of a tepid shower. You know, the classics.

Drunken Sexy Grotto Brawl -

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I tried to watch all three Hobbit movies but I fell asleep about an hour in. Tell me: Is the whole trilogy just a bunch of dwarfs sitting around a table yelling over each other and eating mutton?

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Our sponsors at 1-800-Flowers have an amazing Mother’s Day bouquet deal. Get 24 Multicolored Roses for ONLY $24! For a bouquet Mom’s guaranteed to love, go to
Visit click on the mic in the upper right, and use code Dude Soup to unlock our special berries deal starting at just $19.99 plus shipping.

The whole gang's back in the studio this week to talk about all kinds of Far Cry 5 gossip as well as:
31:00 - Lawrence trying to look as handsome as possible for all you millennials out there
37:45 - A reading from the classic novel based on the hit film xXx
39:15 - E and L's Indie Game Corner
53:15 - An exciting new Hard Nettin'

Want more Dude Soup? Check out the Post Show:

SOURCES:
[Eurogamer] Ubisoft Polls Public on Future Far Cry Settings:
[Great Falls Tribune] Film crew in Poplar to shoot scenes for video game:
[WCCFTech] Far Cry 5 Might Be A Spaghetti Western Set in 19th America, Due This September:
[NeoGAF] SPECULATION: Is this indicative of Red Dead Redemption 2 releasing in September?

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Eleven inches? I mean... It's just... That's gotta be like TOO much... Right? Like... it's not just about length... or girth right? It's more about... how you... uh... how... Well, this one girl, she told me that it's nice when it's not too bi- y'know what, I'm sorry, I have to be going.

Cliffhanger DELUXE -

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Our sponsors at 1-800-Flowers have an amazing Mother’s Day bouquet deal. Get 24 Multicolored Roses for ONLY $24! For a bouquet Mom’s guaranteed to love, go to
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This week the gang talks all about the return of Call of Duty as well as:
13:15 - Shitty movies for some reason
19:00 - Back to Call of Duty
29:00 - Twitch giving streamers more ways to make money
46:15 - Another disturbing installment of Hard Nettin'

Want more Dude Soup? Check out the Post Show:

HARD NETTIN:
Big Knee Lover:
A.I. Kizuna:

Vote on a winner!


SOURCES:
[CNBC] November 'Call of Duty' physical game sales fell nearly 50 percent, analysts say:
[Statista] All time unit sales of selected games in Call of Duty franchise worldwide as of January 2017:
[Twitch] Everything you need to know about our new subscriptions beta:
[Twitch] And now, something for our non-partnered streamers:
[Superdata] Gaming Video Content:

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We're dicks out in space
We're zooming around
Farting all over the place

We're dicks out in space
If asteroids appear
We give 'em a merry chase

When pirates attack us
We call up T-Max
He'll shoot 'em right back in the face

We're dicks out in space
We're zooming around
Farting all over the place

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We're going to have to mash a quaalude into a hot dog and feed it to Li'l Benson before these golf gameplays. Poor guy's already got to deal with Doggie Lupus. Now you're gonna scream and fight around him too? Monsters.

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So a fan sent us this binder full of demo discs for terrible, terrible games and we're real idiots. So we played some of them.

The lesson today is if you find a binder full of old demo discs, DO NOT PLAY THEM.

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When I was in high school my parents, worried about my self-esteem, bought me a book on magic tricks and sleight of hand. I never got really good at it but it did give people something to mock me for besides my ponytail and weight problem for a change.
Ta daa.

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It has to stop. Jon will just keep making these disk demolitions more elaborate and dangerous until somebody gets seriously hurt. Is there no limit to your collective bloodlust? Shame on all of you.
By the way: Pre-order your Jon Smith Official Disk Demolisher Cape and Hood today! Only in the Rooster Teeth Store!





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Here's a helpful list of each Funhaus member's official catch-phrase:
Adam: We live in a world where...
Peake: Skoot! Skoot!
Bruce: There goes the office!
James: What a lovely day for some ham.
Elyse: Did you know Hitler was a vegetarian?
Lawrence: I made a widdle poopie.
Don: I should really get back to editing.
Dan: Kabonga! (followed by laugh track)
Bones: Everything hurts and nobody cares.
Omar: Bender, stop licking that!
Jon: Do what you're told or you go back in the box.
Jacob: (string of outdated racial slurs that I'm not allowed to type)

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When asked recently how he felt about giving up the role of Wolverine in X-Men in order to focus on Mission Impossible 2, Dougray Scott became so upset he nearly dropped the Discount Mattresses sign he was twirling right into a storm drain.

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I wanna be the very best
The best in my schoolyard
But I won't ever touch a breast
Till I hold every card

I will talk to old pharaohs
My training will commence
At least I think that's how it goes
This show makes zero sense

Yu-gi-oh! (Gotta quit this game!) it's Matt and James
I know it's a stupid game
Yu-gi-oh, oh, you're kind of shit
In a world I want to quit

Yu-gi-oh! (Gotta quit this game) it plays like poo
I'll give it a bad review
Yu-gi-oh me, I'll gi-oh you
Yu-gi-oooooooh!


Gotta quit this game! Gotta quit this game!

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If I ever got lost in the woods with these guys I'd probably just take the easy way out and immediately fling myself into a pack of starving wolves. There would be less strife and screaming.

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Whatever this game may lack in unique characters, varying backgrounds, consistent controls, or engaging gameplay, it more than makes up for in blatant sexism and probable racism.

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If Jason doesn't kill virgins then most of these Let's Play guys should be juuuust fine. BOOOOM! Take that, guys who are all more successful and make way more money than me and have probably gotten to second base with more girls than I ever will!

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Rooster Teeth co-founder and tech enthusiast Burnie Burns joins the gang as they discuss the evolution of Funhaus, Burnie's tricked-out Tesla, and Jim Sterling's controversial 'The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild' review score. Plus, sit back and enjoy a radio play worthy of an Academy Award.

Links:
Rooster Teeth for Special Olympics Benefit Page

The first episode of Dude Soup, featuring Burnie Burns


Burnie's Vlog with a Cartoon Tesla - RT Life


Jim Sterling's 'The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild' Review


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This is a continuation of the tale begun in the description to this video:

The Boy desperately wanted to go to The Coven’s Cove - he had never met a Coven before, and “Cove” spoke to him of the Great Water. Of freedom and salt air. But The Boy knew his job was to see the world, and that there would be People in Fort Hornwick. With a wistful glance to the right, The Boy set one foot in front of the other and began walking.

Few trees grew on The Mountain, but The Boy knew that in some places the trees were plentiful enough that People called them a Forest. He supposed he was walking through a forest now - there were many, many trees. Each one was splendid, with branches and leaves. He could hear animals, too: birds that sang and didn’t screech, and small furry tree-rats with fluffy tails that chittered and scampered away if he got too near.

Some time later he left the Forest. The trees cleared and he viewed….how to describe it? It was certainly the largest Man-thing he had ever seen, and it had to be Fort Hornwick. A ringwall encircled the fort on all sides but where it rode up hard against The Great Water. He could see 3 ships - a sight he’d dreamed of - docked, and dozens of men loading crates and barrels onboard.

The Boy followed the path to the Gates of Fort Hornwick and banged on them. From a watchtower, a guard appeared.

“Ho there boy! What business in Fort Hornwick?”

“I come from The Mountain Village. I am here to see the World - the Far Reaches and the Great Water; the jungles and the deserts and the Kingdom Beyond The River Veil.”

“Boy! It’s dangerous out there! Don’t you know Duke Cheswyn has declared war? Come inside quick, and take refuge!” The guard gave a signal and blew a horn. The gates groaned open and the boy walked through the palisade. Just as soon as he was inside, the gates slammed shut.

Suddenly a group of men encircled him, lowering pikes at The Boy. A Captain, resplendent in bright armor, strode forward.

“Thank you guard,” he called. “Boy. You’re coming with us. We know a spy of Duke Cheswyn when we see one.”

If you want the boy to surrender to the Captain, type “Surrender” in the comments.

If you want the boy to attempt to escape, type “Escape” in the comments.

This story will continue if One Dollar One Hour continues…

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I can change. I will change.

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Mr. Woo, I'm sorry to disturb your uh... work... but do you really need to surgically hobble all of these doves to make them look like they're flying in slow motion? Couldn't we just slow it down in post?
John Woo closes his eyes, reluctantly setting down his scalpel.
... Are we artists, or are we whores?
Uh... artis-
Good. Now set up the Ving Rhames steps in poop scene. I'll be there in a minute.

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So wait. It's a music video about a play about a dream where she wakes up Black Maybe Jesus Statue Man and lets him get arrested for murder then bails him out after singing with a church choir while spilling out of her dress? I. Am. In.

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A lot of people think it's silly that Mike Tyson get's to star in all these movies and cartoons and one man shows.
He's just a washed up boxer. they say.
Not true.
He's also a serial wife-beater and convicted rapist.

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Or: Why I left Buzzfeed... 😂
Support what we're making and/or snag a poster before they go away:
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Interested in The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild? Check out the official website:

Lawrence and Elyse are now legally prohibited from being within 500 feet of Reggie, his family, and all employees of the Nintendo Corporation.

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I'm in no position to tell anyone how to do their job, but I think it might be really nice to have one episode of Demo Disk where James doesn't threaten to blow up an airport.

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My high school existed in some bizarre mirror universe in which the theater kids were all straight-edge virgins and the band geeks crushed tail and drove around in sweet raised pick-ups. It's okay, though. I did learn to ACT like I understood how to speak to and sexually satisfy a woman.

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Support our sponsors! Battlefield 1 is available now for purchase and download at
And get one month of Crunchyroll Premium for free by going to

Didn't this used to be a video game podcast? Anyway, today's topics include:
00:00 Halloween stuff
28:45 Battlefield 1
32:00 Titanfall 2
47:35 Masturbation
59:08 Junior. Yes, the movie from 1994.

VIDEOS:
Let's Play Titanfall 2:
Battlefield 1 Official Reveal Trailer:
Titanfall 2 Walkthrough Part 1:
Let's Play World War:

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Join Gus Sorola, Gavin Free, Brandon Farmahini, and Chris Demarais as they discuss RT merch in a strange place, the conception process, beaches, and more on this week's RT Podcast! This episode originally aired on May 22, 2017, sponsored by Blue Apron ( and MeUndies ( ||| Join FIRST to watch live and get exclusive bonus content:

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If want to hear dudes talk about nothing but Pokemon and abs, you've come to the right place!

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Thank you to EPIC for sponsoring this video!
Visit to pre-order or pre-register the game!

I had no idea when I took this job that so much of it would be spent listening to everybody talk about how full and luscious Bruce's booty is.

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We liked liking cool things before they were cool before liking things before they were cool was cool.

Hipsters' Hassle -

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You know what they say: Every stereotype has to be based on some truth.
Who says it? I dunno. Probably those filthy Argentinians mostly. You know how they are.

Check out the full videos below!

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THE LION KING in GTA 5! Mod Gameplay!


GIANT ENEMY CRAB - We Need to Go Deeper Gameplay Part 1


THE DEEP WEB - Demo Disk Gameplay


WE LOVE ALIENS? - Open Haus #111


DEAD END - Guts and Glory Gameplay


WE NEED A PATREON? - Funhaus Comments #65


MAN VS GOD - WWE 2k17 Gameplay


BLUE DRAGONBALL - Demo Disk Gameplay


TRUCKED UP - My Summer Car Gameplay Part 3


ROOSTER TEETH WRESTLEMANIA? - Open Haus #112


TALKING STALKINGS Episode 2 - Drunk Silk Stalkings Podcast


CAUGHT CHEATING - Catch a Lover Gameplay


BATTLE FOR LAST PLACE - Demo Disk Gameplay


MAGIC SCHOOL DROPOUT - Wheelhaus Gameplay


WE'RE YOUR FETISH? - Funhaus Comments #67


WE BOUGHT A ZOO? - Open Haus #114


RACE LIKE A BOSS - GTA 5 Gameplay


PLEASURE ISLAND - My Boyfriend Gameplay

This video is dedicated to legendary Micro Machines spokesman John Moschitta Jr., now available to talk real fast or something at birthday parties and mall openings all across the greater Los Angeles area.

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A very spoilery edition of Dude Soup in which we deep into Civil War, BVS, and the proper ways in which to cultivate a franchise.

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This movie podcast is sponsored by Mack Weldon. Go to and get 20% off using promo code “filmhaus”.

Today Adam and the gang tackle everything we know about the new Universal Dark Universe as well as:
15:15 - Streaming video services and their impact on film
20:00 - Favorite childhood horror movies and the potential future of the D.U.C.U.
27:00 - Trailer and post-credits scenes spoiling films





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This week the gang talks all about Games Done Quick 2017 as well as:
6:00 - Adam and Larr's adventures at the LA Anime Expo
18:00 - James' and Dan's adventures at Monday Night Raw
31:00 - Sonic VS The Flash
47:45 - Changes at Arkane Studios
55:30 - A special call-in from that guy Chad or whatever from ScrewAttack
59:00 - Hard Nettin'

SOURCES:
[YouTube] Beto theorizing: Sonic is faster than Flash:
[GamesIndustry] Leaving Arkane: The pressure of making impossible things

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Today the gang gets all worked up about the new upcoming Nintendo Online services as well as:
15:00 - Xbox Game Pass
24:30 - Steam Direct
41:20 - Random Funhaus tomfoolery
46:45 - Hard Nettin'
53:50 - Rooster Teeth Gaming news
55:40 - Japanese console game releases

SOURCES:
Nintendo Online Service:
[Kotaku] Nintendo Switch's Online Service Will Be $20/Year, Includes Classic Games:
Xbox Game Pass:
[Gamasutra] How do game devs feel about Steam Direct's $100 fee?
[GamesIndustry] David Eddings joins Rooster Teeth Games:
[Time] Everything Sony Told Us About the Future of PlayStation:

HARD NETTIN: The Girls watch themselves on Dude Soup / Funhaus -

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